I have spoken in a lot of rooms. But that was another life, as a hospitality executive, with a title on my badge and a company standing behind me.
Today was different. Today was my first real in-person room as a business owner, standing up for something I built and genuinely care about. That is a completely different kind of nervous.
I had the honor of being the Spotlight speaker at the July Exceptional Connections networking luncheon in Lynnwood, hosted by Cyndi O'Neill-Dady at Fogo de Chão. My topic was one I care a lot about right now: how to get your business found by AI. But the reason I want to write this down is not the talk. It is the room.
Here is the quiet fear you carry into a room like that when the thing is yours. Will they get it. Am I explaining it right. Will they trust me. When you are building something you actually believe in, those questions get loud.
Almost two decades of intentionality
Cyndi has been hosting Exceptional Connections since 2009. That number matters, but only because of what is packed inside it. What I felt in the room today was not longevity for its own sake. It was years of care, layered one gathering at a time, until the whole thing has a texture you can feel the second you walk in.
Every part of the program was deliberate. The welcome, the introductions, the vendor tables, the way people were asked to share, the pace, even the way the room turned toward each speaker. None of it was accidental. That kind of intentionality is genuinely rare in networking, and it is the reason people keep coming back for almost two decades.
Authenticity beats attendance count
Plenty of rooms are bigger and louder. What set this one apart is that everyone in it was actually themselves. Nobody was performing. Nobody was pitching over the top of somebody else's conversation. People asked real questions, answered honestly, and stayed after to keep talking.
If I could pick one thing to protect about a business community, it would be that. Not the growth number. Not the sponsor list. The authenticity of the people who show up.
The part I have never seen anywhere else
Here is something I have not run into anywhere else. Everyone in the room gives a commercial. Every single meeting. A quick, out-loud pitch of what you do and who you help.
Do that month after month and something happens. People get genuinely good at talking about their business. Crisp, warm, human, no throat-clearing. I spent eight years in a private club and never once watched that muscle get built like this.
I do not think you can really replicate it, and honestly I do not think you should try. But if you have not been to an Exceptional Connections luncheon, you need to go see it for yourself.
On being introduced by someone who actually knows you
Kim Pelham introduced me on stage. Kim is my friend, my client, and one of the people I have been building alongside for the last year. That kind of introduction only lands if it is real, and hers was. If you have not met Kim yet, you should. She sees people the way most people wish they were seen.
The questions were the tell
Here is the fastest way to know you are in a serious room: listen to the questions.
Today people asked me about schema markup, structured data, the difference between SEO and AEO, whether their competitor was outranking them because of something the AI could see. They asked how to audit their own site. They asked what happens after the audit. They stayed after and kept asking.
You do not get those questions in a room that is just there to network. You get those questions in a room that is there to actually change what happens Monday morning. And that was my answer to every fear I walked in with. They got it. They trusted me enough to ask the real questions.
When you actually care about the thing you built, people can feel it. Give a crap, explain it like it matters, and the room meets you there.
I did not just answer questions and head home either. I followed up with seven people from that room, each with specific fixes for their site. I am still working my way through the list. If we talked and you have not heard from me yet, you will.
I also offered everyone a free business listing on Vantage, the local business directory I am building. If you were in the room, that offer stands. Go grab your spot.
What is next
Cyndi and I are recording her Conversations to Connect podcast next Wednesday. I am already looking forward to going deeper into the AI conversation with her, and to whatever tangents her Let's Get Real format takes us on.
I am also looking forward to the next luncheon, and I hope to find more ways to engage with the Exceptional Connections community beyond a speaker slot, because rooms like this one are worth investing in.
A quick thank you
To Cyndi, thank you for building something worth walking into, and for handing me the mic today.
To Kim, thank you for the introduction and for being the reason I was in the room in the first place.
To everyone who came up after with a question, a business card, or a "wait, my website too?" thank you for asking. That is where the good work starts.